No smiling. No advice.
Kanye West isn’t one to let an award ceremony slide without making a bit of a scene, and this year’s VMAs were no exception. Not to be outdone by Miley Cyrus’s array of weird outfits, shade thrown from Nicki Minaj and Taylor Swift winning everything ever, Kanye decided to well and truly steal the show by announcing that he will run for president in 2020.
Naturally, people are pretty damned excited already.
Sadly 2020 is a long way off so Kanye is yet to announce the details of his presidential campaign. In the meantime, we’ve dreamed up seven presidential policies Kanye would insist upon if he made it to the White House.
1. The national anthem will be replaced by Bound 2.
Daily airings of the anthem will be compulsory in all schools and workplaces. Anyone who fails to comply will be forced to listen to Iggy Azalea’s album for 10 hours straight.
2. The winners of all awards will be determined by Kanye.
To save him from making any more awkward interruptions at awards ceremonies, why not just make Kanye and Kanye alone responsible for deciding who deserves an award?
3. Kim Kardashian’s bum has its own holiday.
Kanye celebrates Kim’s curves every day, but as president we can totally see him setting aside an entire day for everyone to appreciate her famous behind.
4. All shoes except for sneakers will be outlawed.
All members of Congress must wear Yeezys at all time, or will immediately be sacked.
5. Smiling is reserved for special occasions only.
Kanye doesn’t often crack a smile. In fact, he’s known for his stormy frown as much as he is for his legendary hip hop. Smiling is permitted on holidays, because how you gon’ be mad on vacation?
6. The History of Kanye will replace American History in schools.
Kardashian 101, An Introduction to Hip Hop and Rap will replace defunct subjects like maths, economics and geography.
7. Congress are not permitted to advise President Kanye.
YOU CANNOT GIVE HIM ANY ADVICE